A new Life

So my depression has hit me harder than ever. It came out of nowhere. !!!!BAMM!!!! there it was. NO reason why that i can really come up with. May be a combination of many things.

- the loss of my studio
- the birth of my kids and the lack of sleep that follows(ed)
- my ex constantly bitching
- my WIFE constantly bitching
- money problems (i cant find work)
etc etc etc.

i have no single cause.

I have been seeking counselling and it has helped a bit. It helps to rant, bitch, talk and being talked to in return. But it hasnt really been taking me OUT of my depression.

Then I met this woman. The amazing, beautiful, unbelievable woman.  She makes me smile, laugh, cry, growl, purr, insensibly mad and frustrated, incredibly loving and caring. She makes me LOVE!

by LOVE I dont mean the kind of love i have for my children or my wife. That is a love deeply rooted love that will never diminish.

No i mean a pure, undisturbed love that only comes along once in a life time! She makes my heart jump a beat when i think of her, makes me shy and helpless at times and yet instills a confidence in me I never knew I had. When i am with her I dont think about my problems. I dont think about the rigor of my daily life. ALL i think about is her and I and how to maximize the precious time we have for each other.

Minutes become hours, hours become days and yet when we part I feel like we only spend seconds. When I see her leave I am already yearning for her to return to my arms. Longing for her touch, her lips, her body and her MIND to challenge me in ways i have NEVER been challenged before.

She is my soulmate and I am not ashamed to say - other than my kids she is the love of my life.

On the outside nothing about our relationship is easy. After all I AM married. It is a HUGE strain mentally on both of us. But when i am with her I am FREE. I DONT think of my other life, as a husband and father. All I think about is how i can make this woman happy despite the complications of our relationship.

She has invigorated me. Has brought joy and excitement to my life and has given me a new lease on life I didnt think i would get again.

She has also rejuvenated my love for the fetish and kink life I used to live a LONG LONG time ago. I wasnt deeply involved in the lifestyle but I did enjoy several aspects of it. Mostly being dominant, spanking, flogging and mutual satisfaction. This woman has brought all that out and much much more - i have really exploded like a volcano.  I am relearning and rediscovering as well as learning new and exciting ways to satisfy my woman and myself thru the amazing world of fetish and kink.

This will be the first of many posts about me and her and i cant wait to see where we go and how far we can take this amazing love that has engulfed both of us.

---- to be continued :D